Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
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Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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