what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
