why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
