lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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