Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
