This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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