Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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