my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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