Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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