I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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