i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
