its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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