just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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