hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
