That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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