Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize