It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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