I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
