Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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