So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
