break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
