Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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