i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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