i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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