Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
