Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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