READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
