I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so let's talk penis.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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