Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
