If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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