Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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