i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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