Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
