i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
