Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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