Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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