please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
