I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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