a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am one with the molecules
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
