They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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