My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
