I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
