Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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