dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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