We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he puts the penis in happiness.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
