I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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