There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
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We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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