he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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