How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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