seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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