I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
