I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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