You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
