Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize