In the future we'll all be gay
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
