He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize