Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
