I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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