I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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