never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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