I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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