its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
