there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
