i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
