i can't believe i had my finger in that
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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